I'm moving to
Need to clear my head.
Hope to see you there<3


~jas

I'm afraid.
I'm afraid I won't ever be as good of an artist as I want/need to be.
I'm afraid I'll never have a real best friend.
I'm afraid the friends I do have will abandon me.
I'm afraid that I'll never find a guy for me.. or if I do, he'll end up like this last one and not want a relationship.
I'm afraid that this summer will turn out to be the worst of my life.
I'm afraid that if I try to express myself to my family, they will laugh at me.
I'm afraid if I tell my friends how I really feel, they'll never talk to me again.
I'm afriad that there's nothing out there for me.
I'm afraid of my dad squashing my hopes and making me become and accountant.
I'm afraid of not being sucessful in life.
I'm afraid of not being Valedictorian of my class, and what people will say.
I'mafraid of how people see me as a person.
I'm afraid to show the real me to my friends, since they're so used to the old me.
I'm afraid of being made fun of by those I love the most.
I'm afraid God's plan for me isn't what my plans are, that his plans are much more complicated and don't let me have what I feel I need most right now- love.
I'm afriad of no being loved.
I'm afraid of my dreams.


Are you afriad?

I know it's been forever since I got on last. I hope you've all had some wonderful times since I last talked to you!
School's nearly over (May 25!), which means I'll be on the computer a lot more during the summer. I still need to find a good webhost for an art website (free...), so if anyone has reccomendations (I am HTML illiterate, btw .-.), I'll love you forever.
I've been working more on drawing people, because I really would like to try out some Hary Potter fan-art (die-hard fan here XD). But Cha'll always be there, and I've developed Kal (that guy-wolf character) some more.
That Coyote Cubism picture (my "most recent") is with my art teacher now, but after the art show, we're gonna scan it so I can have a copy, as she asked me to donate the original to our school district's Central Office (that made me *very* happy).
I went to an art comipition called VASE in February. I painted a picture of a dragon, cat, and wolf for it. The way it worked was that you wrote down stuff like why you painted the picture, what techniques, principles, etc, you used, and then you talked to a judge and told them pretty much the exact same things as you wrote. Then they score you. The highest is a "4." I got a "3" (I scored higher on the picture part than the interview part ).
My school's JV girl's soccer team got 2nd, Varsity girls got 1st. It was pretty cool, but then the Varsity team lost in the second round of playoffs. So soccer's over now (we're back to running twice a week and "playing soccer" the other days), but my club team's season started. My club team (the Wildcats) has won all of our games so far (including theo ne against older girls), but we play our biggest competition next weekend..
Still coming up with ideas for a Yerf application, if they ever open them... I had a kind of neat idea involving a coyote running across a red desert.... I love acrylics
Yeah. So I hope everyone here's been awesome and will be awesome still
I you!

~jas

Stopping in to wish you all a Merry Chirstmas/Happu Hannukah/Happy Kwanzaa/whatever you celebrate and a Happy New Year!

This year's gone by way to fast for me. A flurry of new experiences (highschool, soccer, friends), places (highschool [again], the skating rink), people (Steven, Joey, Ben, Sam, people from soccer), and much more. Every time I turn around, something new is happening, someone's getting in a fight, people are making out (eeeeeew ), braking up, having fun, working, falling in love.

Everything from giving up an old crush to finding a new person (twice). To having my heart broken to having a blast with the same guy. From wishing for a boyfriend to hating guys altogether (I still want a boyfriend... but only if it's my new crush ).

This year has been a year of learning, changing, and finding out more and more about myself and my friends.

It seems like a month ago, it was this time last year.

It looks like I'll be having a warm Christmas this year (The high is in the 70's- can you believe it?). Christmas afternoon, we're going to Austin to visit my aunt, uncle, counsins, and other... extended family. My parents went on a cruise to Cozumel, the Camen Islands, and Jamaica for their 20th anniverary, leaving my sisters and I with my mom's parents- during which time, it was their 49th anniversary.

Harry (our newest family member) has a new favorite hooby- running straight into our [fake] Christmas tree, knocking off as many ornaments as possible, then picking one and running off with it.

I have'nt been able to really start making a website for my art or work on my Yerf application pictures (the app's aren't open yet, so I'm still okay).

I've asked for an MP3 player, an electric guitar, and a mini chocolate fountain for Chirstmas. I hope I get one (or more ). But more importantly, I got some nice gifts for me friends and family (more than $130 worth, which is a lot for me).

Well, I hope you all have a great Holiday (whatever you celebrate), and here's my gift to you (sorry if you don't celebrate Christmas- it says "Happy Holidays" I swear ^_^): [link]

lovez from,

jas

I've decided that I can no longer stay at devaintART anymore.
I have very little time on the computer (about 3 hours a week, which is usually spent on school projects). It's not fair for me to be watching people, but not commenting on their art. Or receiving comments without me returning the favor.
I really do miss all of you very much. But DevART is just going down the tubes, as far as I'm concerned. What with all the thefts, the "adult"/ unmoderated art, the layout, and the ever-decreasing features for non-subscribers, devART is just getting worse by the minute. There's to many people on the site, to many submissions, to much everything. It gets to confusing.
I'm currently thinking about making an actual website for my art. Like, a real one. It willl proabably start out as a free Geocities one, but I may get an actual real-live website (oooooooooh.....). But until then, I need to concentrate on improving my art and getting better at things other than Cha'.
Yerf is still down, bu they are promising something by Thanksgiving. Once the whole site gets up and running again, I would really love the apply. I know I won't make it, but I have my pictures planned out. Now if only my dad can get our Photoshop...
So I guess this is goodbye. I will miss all of you sorely. If you want to keep in contact with me, my AIM is WanderingSoul512, my MSN is Lester259@yahoo.com, my e-mail is strawberryness@mail2lost.com, and my myspace is [link] . I'll make another journal when I get my website up, and when I get my yerf app up.
Thank you all for being there for me and supporting me and encouraging me. You are all so nice and I wish each of you the best of luck.
Farewell, friends.

~jas